You know it’s time to give up hope on someone when you bust them masturbating on your farm, covered in animal shit and mud…twice.

A man convicted of sexually gratifying himself in manure has been caught doing it again – by a child. 41 year old David Truscott of Pengegon Parc, Camborne, was discovered on Saturday by the youngster at Woodbury House Farm, Redruth.

This isn’t the first time it has happened either. Seven years ago, David was caught on the same farm, gratifying himself in this very manner. The family who owned the farm got a restraining order at the time. You see, when they found out Mr. Truscott was covering himself in animal turds and jerking off all over their muck spreader, they decided to clean out the equipment, preventing this from happening again. This pissed David off big time, so he set fire to their outbuilding, killing several animals.
After seeing some jail time, you’d think that David had learned his lesson. He didn’t…

On Saturday, a son of the family had become aware a man had been seen climbing over a gate to the property. The child came across Truscott naked in a field among cow dung and mud.
YOU KNOW I HAVE SOME THING SMART TO SAY,GUESS I DONT FELL LIKE TALKING SHIT?

This case will be sent to the Crown court on March 23rd and no, this isn’t an Onion article.